I look in the mirror and see a girl,
Who is staring back at me.
I don't know who she is,
Because she's not the girl I want to be.
Escape
I wonder if i can be a bear.
Sleep and hibernate for months and to wake up to a whole new world.
I wish i can escape from all these.
Sleep and hibernate for months and to wake up to a whole new world.
I wish i can escape from all these.
Pretending
And yet i still pretend
I pretend that everything is good
I pretend that i am well
I pretend that i am playing
I pretend that i am happy
[FANFICTION] COFFEE AND VANILLA
a/n : all of a sudden, ideas keep pouring in for this fanfic. So i'll just keep on writing this while the muse is visiting lol. First chapter will be up tomorrow~
PROLOGUE
PROLOGUE
The bell rings as the door was pushed open. A slight draft of cold air sneaks into the shop and she shivers, turning her gaze to the door.
Time seems to stop, and the air is suddenly unbearably hot. Her breath comes out in soft pants, hitching slightly when she saw him.
Yes, him.
Time seems to stop, and the air is suddenly unbearably hot. Her breath comes out in soft pants, hitching slightly when she saw him.
Yes, him.
[FANFICTION] Jaejoong's Heart
a/n : this was just for fun. My first ever fanfic that i wrote last year. Still have a few more but it's just simply sitting rotting away. I have tons of ideas but the passion somehow not there. But i promise that i'll finish it someday -peace-
******
His heart is dead. Lifeless.
It might beat, pumping blood through his body, but to him it feels nothing.
He looks around the apartment. Empty. Quiet.
Jaejoong sigh.
He lost counts on how many he had sighed since this morning. He continues with the furniture’s arrangement, pushing the couch here and there, looking for a perfect place that will fit.
‘Hyung, let me help you” Changmin offered to help him. “It looks heavy.”
‘Yah Jaejoong-hyung, why are we moving couches and tables on our day-off? We’re supposed to be resting’ Junsu’s squeaky whining reaches his ears. Yunho and Yoochun were laughing at a sulking Junsu.
Jaejoong turns, smiling, but all he saw was an empty space. ‘Because I like the living room to look different once in a while.’ He whispers to nobody but himself.
He sighs again.
His heart, it’s lonely.
***
******
His heart is dead. Lifeless.
It might beat, pumping blood through his body, but to him it feels nothing.
He looks around the apartment. Empty. Quiet.
Jaejoong sigh.
He lost counts on how many he had sighed since this morning. He continues with the furniture’s arrangement, pushing the couch here and there, looking for a perfect place that will fit.
‘Hyung, let me help you” Changmin offered to help him. “It looks heavy.”
‘Yah Jaejoong-hyung, why are we moving couches and tables on our day-off? We’re supposed to be resting’ Junsu’s squeaky whining reaches his ears. Yunho and Yoochun were laughing at a sulking Junsu.
Jaejoong turns, smiling, but all he saw was an empty space. ‘Because I like the living room to look different once in a while.’ He whispers to nobody but himself.
He sighs again.
His heart, it’s lonely.
***
Work
Some look at work as a burden they must shoulder and indeed it is a heavy yoke to bear. To a lucky few, work is a place to express their creative spirit. Sometimes things don't always work out the way we hope, but we still do our best no matter what. Even though the hours are long and hard, there are even times when we don't want to do it. But hey, it is indeed a privilege to find a job and be able to support oneself.
But sometimes, i do miss my school life. Those carefree days, breaking rules, nothing to worry about except exams and results.
-sighs-
In heaven
We understand death for the first time when he puts his hand upon one whom we love.
To lose your parents is something that you dreaded so much. You pray every single day that they will live to see you get married, have kids, etc, etc. But a dream is just a dream, and worse, this dream of mine will never ever came true.
It hurts, when you see other people talking happily about their parents and you have to put up a poker face so that nobody know that it really is killing you inside. I still cry, and will always cry when i think about my parents. Losing my mom wasn't that heartbreaking because i can already foresee it. She's been sicked for 3 years, been in and out of the hospital. I even prayed to God to spare her the agony because i couldn't bear to see her like that. Losing my dad however, was something i never expected it to be. To have him exhaled his last breath right in front of me so peacefully..............
I'm proud to have them as my parents, and i hope they were proud of me as their daughter. I'm trying to be brave and to continue with my life, though it's a big hurdle without parents giving you mental support.
I can’t repay the lessons that you taught when I was small...
Or give you gift for gift the daily treasures I recall.
I can’t return encouragement and loving words of praise...
In quite the way you did for me through all my childhood days.
But there is one gift that I can give, It’s all the love you’ve earned...
For love is what you always taught... And love is what I learned.
Alfatihah
